Pages

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Jokes for you




Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow do bull.
Teacher (Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.
------------------------------------------------------
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
-----------------------------------------------------

 Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
---------------------------------------------------
 Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
----------------------------------------------------------
 At this moment 3.7 Millions are sleeping,2.3 Millions are falling in Love,4.1 Million are eating & only one cute person in the whole
--------------------------------------
Miss: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
----------------------------
 MONKEY CHARACTER
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
--------------------------
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age..
-------------------------------------------------

A small kid wrote to BISHNU, "Send me a brother". BISHNU wrote back, "send me ur mother".

What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
------------------------------------------------------
Hoping that the love you shares years ago is still as strong today as it was then bringing you much joy, love and happiness. To celebrate again, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
----------------------------------------------
“I LOVE U” are words just three,which mean so much on our ANNIVERSARY.so this is what i want to say,live in my heart n there 4 ever stay
--------------------------------------------------------

A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that.
----------------------------------------------------

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!
---------------------------------------------
Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check.
---------------------------------------------------
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
---------------------------------------
A woman married a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother?
My husband only has ONE FOOT?.
Her Mother replied:You are lucky, your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES?
----------------------------------------------------
Do U know the full form of COLLEGE
C-Come
O-On
L-Lets
L-Love
E-Each
G-Girl
E-Equally
Thats why boys go to college regularly?.
------------------------------------

Bank- A toothpaste from where you can easily take out but cannot put it back.
School- A place where papa pays & son plays
Life Insurance- A contract that keeps you poor all ur
life so tht you can die rich.
Nurse- A person wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage- A contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree
---------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman And Mundra Inside The Toilet.
Englishman : Good Evening, How Do U Do?
Mundra: Gud Evening, We Open The Zip And Do.
------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side


-------------------------------------------------
When u feel angry, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so nice". U will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit.  Coz liars go to hell
-------------------------------------------------
I was worried because in a Dream last night I saw All the evils of the world have died, Can you send me only 1 sms to make me sure that you are Still Alive?
------------------------------------------------------
2 Boys love 1 Girl = PROBLEM!
1 Boy love 2 Girls = TALENT!
2 Girls love 1 Boy = KISMAT
------------------------------------------
Government imposing new taxes. Dating Rs.10, Hug Rs.20, Kiss Rs.30, Love Rs.50. But you don't worry, flirting is still free. 
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho...nothing happens to me, I only remember your face.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Rekha went to swimming pool in BRA & PENTYGuard: Madam, swimming is not allowed in two piece custome.Rekha: kun chai fukalu
--------------------------------------------------------
Malik: Mundra, k ho tai le babu maro bhanera char choti chuti le sakish
Mundra: Malik, aspali mero babu ko vivha cha.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Every Nepali women is RANI LAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.
-----------------------------------------------
YOUR NAME
YOUR FAME
YOUR PERSONALITY
YOUR THOUGHTS
YOUR VIEWS
But keep in mind,
April Fool comes once a year. Congratulations!...
--------------------------------------------

Wives are Incoming Calls
Lovers are Outgoing Calls
Aunties are Toll free Calls
Call girls are Roaming Calls
Neighbor Girls are Missed Calls
------------------------------------------------------
What she's bloody well told if she knows what's right for her.
Bun k ahsas meri dharkan k paas rehtay ho,
Tasveer ban k meri aankhon k paas rehtay ho,

Aaj poochtay hain aik sawal tumsay,
kiya door reh ker tum bhi udaas rehtay ho?
k cha hal khabar 
----------------------------------------------------------
I love u until there is  sun ,moon,stars,.
I will miss u until there is beating heart,
in my life.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Search This Blog